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Ifmotion smoothingwas a genre instead of a TV setting, that genre would contain only these movies.
I know this because over the years, I havewatchednearlyallofthese movies, and now I am different.
But she cannot find a good man!
For some reason involving kiwis, Natalie stays in Lake Placid.
Are there royals or journalists?Natalie is, as I have mentioned, a very respected dating journalist.
Do people get mistaken for other people?Literally in every scene.
Josh pretends to be Tag.
Natalie pretends to be Joshs hot cousin for date Tag.
Tag pretends to be very interested in Thoreau.
What is the first line of the movie, and is it voice-over?Im so glad you asked.
My picker is broken.
No way, you were chubby as a kid too?
Thoreau is an asshole.
Natalie reveals three times within the films first 10 minutes that she is allergic to kiwis.
Her face swells up to twice its normal size and therefore she becomes Ugly, Destroyer of Worlds.
Do the protagonists concoct an elaborate Christmas-related scheme that is clearly doomed?Yes.
What goes with fresh kiwi?
Ive thought about it a lot and I suppose it would have to be rum or tequila.
What was Natalies favorite book as a kid?Crazy you asked that.
At the end, his dad cheerfully proclaims, My son loves to make candles!
Joshs grandma simply asks everyone, What is a dick pic?
The castle is named Dun Dunbar, which is Scottish for something.
Does it take place in a fake European country?Scotland is fake, yes.
Thereisa journalist, but thats a surprise for 12 questions from now.
What is the first line of the movie, and is it voice-over?Yes.
Its a triple fake-out: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Those were the words that started the whole Emma Gale success story.
Sorry, did you say that Brooke Shields specifically toasts to women buying castles?Yes.
Do entire relationships take place over FaceTime or Skype?Yes.
Where and how and why did she make this?
That is for the Scottish history books to tell me.
(The recurring warrior imagery in this movie is never explained, but thats okay.
I assume everyone in Scotland knows something that I dont.)
Its first lines: In this day and age, not everyone believes in happy endings.
But I just might.
DoesThe Drew Barrymore Showexist within the universe of this movie?Weird question.
Is there an inexplicable musical/dance break tacked on during the credits?No.
The fake-boyfriend ruse is abandoned instantly and without conversation I am honestly still lost on this part.
Anyway, they do date each other.
Lets just say Lake Placid.
What is the first line of the movie, and is it voice-over?Oddly, it is diegetic.
Peter is directing a photo shoot featuring a bunch of Insta-gays in shaving-cream beards.
The photographer says, Beautiful.
put a down payment on a special retail space for Peter, Nick is also a TaskRabbit.
He is always leaving important events to go hang strangers Christmas lights.
What he really wants to do is grow plants.
At the end of the film, he moves back home and opens a plant store.
Are Scottish people furious about this movie?Probably.
One is a queen, one is a baker, one is a mischievous scamp.
Does it take place in a fake European country?Yes.
The Kingdom of Montenaro.
In reality it was filmed in Romania (also fake).
Fiona has no job and might be a Communist.
Thats me, Stacy.
Yes, this is voice-over.
My family is from the Philippines.
Is there subtle commentary on the gig economy?Subtly.
Its heavily implied that Margarets stepdaughter is taking finalsduringChristmas at her private ballet school.
This is a capitalist critique.
But the real Christmas-related scheme?
Getting me to write about this movietwice.
It is brought up no fewer than three times.
It looks radioactive in certain lights.
Does the castle inexplicably look like shit?This castle is better than Dun Dunbar but still extremely bad.
It is lit like a Home Depot and perpetually appears just robbed.
Is this movie Vatican sponcon?Yes.
At the end of the movie she stops being imprisoned and gets to go to a party.
Are Scottish people furious about this movie?No there is no greenery in Montenaro aka Romania.
It makes Scotland look really nice in comparison.
