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I want Reddit fans to know we were keeping them in mind while making it.
Its a real mindfuck![Laughs.]
Im glad you thought so.
My mothers mother lived with paranoid schizophrenia, and my mother grew up in a really traumatic situation.
How it trickled down, affected my aunt and uncle and their kids also how it didnt affect them.
It had different effects on everybody.
Wow, she knew then?Oh, yeah.
Its a big part of who my mother is.
When will it come out?
And will I have the awareness to know when its happening?
Right before I wrote this, I went through my deepest bout of depression in my life.
When was this?In 2018, right before we started writing it.
I was in a really low place and I started talking to a therapist.
But then I have this secondary anger at my genetics.
Like, This doesnt have anything to do with me!
How am I trapped in a making of my own mind?
If she didnt have the ability to even trust herself or her own grip on reality?
So I went to Jeff [Baena] and talked to him about it.
I didnt want to write it alone.
Ive never written anything before, and I just didnt have the discipline.
When I brought him this idea, he said, I think its the same idea.
And that kind of broke everything open.
Rather than standing back, looking at it, judging it.
Has your mom seen the film yet?She has not.
Are you nervous to show her?I am nervous.
I keep trying to prepare her and let her know that its a real departure, its very weird.
And Im sort of like, Its not a literal movie about your mom.
Obviously theres so much other stuff going on.
But I hope that she enjoys it.
She certainly loves the trailer.
The trailer and the title are sort of a fake-out, though.
Is that something you and Jeff planned?A little bit.
The title felt like a foregone conclusion.
We never thought of another one.
Its such an integral part of who she is.
And also I do think that everyone knows a horse girl.
Its an immediate read and makes you think of middle school or high school.
It mirrors what happens in Sarahs mind mentally.
I actually think the experience was very cathartic for me.
When Sarah talks about her family history, its a lot of real, personal stuff.
It just tapped into something I didnt even realize I was holding onto in such a major way.
It wouldve been more intense staying in character all the time.
Did writing it help you get out of your depressive period?Definitely.
There were a number of factors.
What I have, that Sarah our character doesnt have, is an amazing support system.
So many friends and family members of mine go to therapy and take medication.
Everyone I know has destigmatized the idea of mental health.
I work out a lot and I think that really helps keep depression in check.
Writing this definitely helped in a career depression kind of way, too.
When Im not working, there can be slumps where I feel like, Ill never work again.
That was it, I had a good run.
Did you feel that way unimpressed with the roles coming your way?I wouldnt say unimpressed.
And what peoples perception was of me as an actor versus the types of work I wanted to do.
And it felt that way [withHorse Girl].
There were days on set where I was like,I dont know about this… No matter what the reaction, this movie will always be incredibly special to me.
Youve never looked like this before, either.
But we didnt have money in the budget for a great wig.
Jeff and I did really fun research on all sides.
With Sarah, theres another component: Are these things happening or not?
Whats the cause, whats the effect?
Our hope is that people have myriad interpretations of the movie[s ending].
A lot of people feel very strongly, This is the truth of the movie.
And weve built a lot of things into it where you might rewatch and discover something new.
Ooh, theres Easter eggs?There are.
Can you tell me one?I guess I would say, the things involving possible time loops.
Im curious to see how much of that people are catching …
In a flashback sequence in the movie, my characterdoeshave really long hair.
That may or may not play into the time loop of it all.
Sarahs hair is a newer chop.
Since her most recent trauma, she tried to make a change.
I want the Reddit fans to know that we did a lot of Reddit-based research for this movie.
Were all about it.
Thats been a fear of mine for a long time.
Though I dont know if Id call it a conspiracy theory.
Its science.Its real science.[Laughs.]
Ive read enough stories now about people being abducted, and the through lines are amazing.
Im not a crazy conspiracy theorist, though.
Im a low-key conspiracy theorist, on the DL.
I can get revved up but Im not instigating.
But then Im like, Should we watch another hour ofFriends?
I have a short attention span.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
