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Call me a fascist, but I love statements that start with, There are two types of people … (These days: not much of a choice.)

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There are books here for both types of sad people.

I am here to serve.

This isnt a COVID-19specific innovation; the system has been in place for at least a decade.

LaBrava by Elmore Leonard

Perhaps your local library runs a similar operation.

On my way, it started raining.

Happily, the book was well worth 72 hours of trivial turmoil.

A Children’s Bible by Lydia Millet

She is depicted mid-sentence, as though yelling Hey!

A group of wealthy parents rent a robber barons mansion for the summer.

The kids hate the adults with an untrammeled and creatively expressed vengeance.

The Burnt Orange Heresy by Charles Willeford

When a hurricane hits, they escape their summer enclosure.

This is not a normal hurricane but one endowed with fearsome powers by climate change.

The price of tampons skyrockets to $40 per box.

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It doesnt precisely echo our moment, but there are recognizable events and possibilities.

Sometimes it feels good to have your anxieties reflected back at you in an artful format.

Now is one of those times.

New YorkTimes

Nabokov would smile and approve.

NashvilleTennessean

How could any novel possibly be the hypotenuse of those two statements?

The first is calling me a philistine and the other is guaranteeing a beyond-the-grave stamp of approval from Nabokov.

I had no choice but to complete the triangulation by reading it.

It marks the firstand I hope lasttime Ive been negged into starting a book.

I suppose the idea of a sociopathic art critic is pretty Nabokovian.

And theTimesreviewer was correct in claiming even a person uninterested in art could get excited about this book.

Heres a sample sentence: In the black swamp beyond the house a lonesome bull alligator roared erotically.

If thats not enough to ignite your appetite, I dont know what would.

Experience catharsis the old-fashioned way, with Shakespeare?Macbethdid it for me.

Something I discovered while rereading it is thatHAUTBOYSdoesnt mean what you hope it means.

Frolic amongst theCHINTZ FURNISHINGSand knotty mind of Iris Murdoch beginning withUNDER THE NET?

Dip into asuspenseful taleabout theSEEDY UNDERBELLYof Tokyo?

Read the 1980ssurf thrillerthatPoint Break, theKLASSIC KEANUmovie, was inspired by?

SUGGESTED PAIRING

LikeTiger King?

Ill see your Joe Exotic and raise you an even stranger and more sinister character in Ian McEwansNutshell.

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