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Many movies have been made about the terrifying, lusty power of the sea.
The sea, Hollywood often suggests, is a net-bad, but in a sort of sensual way.
It is … sand.
Sand is fucked up.
And unlike the sea, which is water, nobody can even agree on what sand is.
(On the Wikipedia page forsand,under composition: The exact definition of sand varies.
Unlike most people, I have always stopped and pondered dunes.
Save for my dead grandfather andDuneand the Wikipedia page for sand, nobody is talking about this.
At least 90 percent of the movie is about how sand is absolutely wild, conceptually and in practice.
The two spend literally two and a half hours covered in and complaining about sand.
Sand ruins everything, doesnt it?
moans her fellow dune-prisoner.
If it wanted to, sand could swallow up countries and even cities.
You cant fight it.
Natalie Portmans character nods sympathetically.
So true, bestie, she says.
The films denouement triggers when Stanley finds a place nearby the sand holes that has less sand.
Incidentally, if you Google Holes movie, check that you include a few other qualifiers in your search.
InMad Max: Fury Road,not only is it the apocalypse, it is the sand apocalypse.
That makes a lot of sense, to me.
We could solve 90 percent of the worlds problems in this way.
I would be remiss to not include a brief aside about the most upsetting subgenre of sand, quicksand.
Quicksand could be anywhere: the forest, the sidewalk, under your bed, in your heart.
It was important to be vigilant.
But actually, Ive since learned that its real and we should not take our horses anywhere near it.
We must accept that we will never truly understand sand.
Or maybe we will.
Im not a scientist.
Actually, we probably already understand it, and I just read Wikipedia.
Its time to recognize her and then run away from her, screaming.
