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For decades,tabloids wrote Jessica Simpsons storyfor her.
But little did we know, she had been chronicling her own history in her diaries.
In a new memoir,Open Book, Simpson unearths her emotions from the past 15 years.
Its notallabout the glamour.
Simpson writes about her most vulnerable moments, the times she felt the most nekkid not just naked.
It would start with tickling my back, then going into things that were extremely uncomfortable, she remembers.
Freezing became my defense mechanism, and to this day, when I panic, I freeze.
After shouldering the secret for six years, she finally found the courage to tell her parents.
They never visited that friend again, but they also never discussed the sexual abuse.
No, this was an intimate discussion between a man and his soon-to-be wife, she says.
Which is to say that I exploded.
They slept together one last time before the divorce was finalized, while Lachey was promoting his divorce album.
Then Simpson had to end it.
And then I did, she cheekily writes, referencing her Jessica Simpson Collection.
Give or take a billion.
Filming the movie was a refuge from Simpsons marriage in more ways than one.
He actually liked that I was smart and embraced my vulnerabilities.
(Oh, butthat Let Him Fly coveron her albumA Public Affair?
Its not about Nick Lachey.
Its about Johnny Knoxville.)
For readers and for her daughters, she writes, You are perfect as you are.
But at the time, this is what we thought we had to do.
I swear, I thought I looked beautiful, she opens the chapter titled Death By Mom Jeans.
I had always been in on the joke, and that gave me power, she writes.
Now that it was everybody else making it, I didnt think it was funny.
I was insulted for myself and all women.
InOpen Book, Simpson details her tumultuous on-again-off-again relationship with Mayer.
It was the start of me relying on alcohol to mask my nerves, she admits.
Eventually, she realized Mayer had been using her for inspiration.
He also talked about sleeping with girls in the plural and called Simpson sexual napalm.
When he reached out to me, I changed my number and changed my email, she writes.
She admits to being drunk while appearing onThe Ellen DeGeneres Showin 2017.
While hanging out onEllen, Simpson joked and slurred her words, quickly becoming the talk-show hosts punch line.
I was nervous, but Id always been able to turn it on for talk shows.
Instead, I couldnt find Ellens rhythm, mumbling, and second-guessing everything I was saying.
The show was just one obstacle on Simpsons slippery slope.
She would mix vodka with flavored Perrier sparkling water in a glittery tumbler and bring it with her.
When she decided to become sober, she says her last drink was from her faithful glittercup.
She spent the night drinking in her room, listening to her kids trick-or-treat.
The next morning, she decided to stop drinking alcohol for good.
